Just Don't Say It.

All of my blog posts to this point have been from my perspective.... but there has been one subject that's been lingering for my wife since we learned we were having twins.  Since she isn't blogging about our experience, I'm going to chime in and speak on her behalf.

It isn't rocket surgery to know that women tend to be self conscious about their bodies.  They do a lot to look good (to which us men certainly appreciate) and love to be recognized for it.  Having been around for much of Teri's pregnancy, I have bared witness to many discussions. "You look so good".  "Oh my God, you are so tiny" "There is no way you are pregnant with twins"  "I was that big at 3 months, and I only had one".

Teri is a petite woman in the first place, so these types of reactions aren't unexpected.  She was pretty

small when she was pregnant with Ryley, so it makes sense that she would be small with the girls as well.  Maybe some of those comments were sincere, some of them were just being nice.  But herein lies the problem, she is pregnant with twins, and monochronic twins at that.  TOTAL game changer.

I know, you are just trying to be nice or maybe you really are amazed at how tiny she is....but DON'T under ANY circumstance ever tell a woman pregnant with twins, ESPECIALLY mo-di twins, how "great" or "tiny" or how you "can't believe there are twins in there".... .Don't..... just don't.

I would assume you realize that there are additional risks when it comes to twin pregnancies, what you may not realize about twin pregnancies is that nearly all of the those additional risks are diagnosed based off of growth deficiencies and imbalances (this is much more the case with monochronic (one placenta), but still a big concern for dichronic twins).  The biggest worry we have is that one day we are going to go in for an ultrasound and find that one of the babies has suddenly started to lag behind the other significantly or that neither has put on much weight.  If this were to happen, a whole new world of headache is at our front door.

In other words... while common sense would say that Teri wants to hear how good she looks.... pretty much the exact opposite is true.  When she hears how tiny she is, all she can think about is how her babies must not be growing enough.  When she hears how you looked so much bigger so sooner, all she can think about is that she must be neglecting their growth.  When she hears how jealous you are about how she can still wear heels, all she can think about is how she must be malnourishing the babies. 

Just play it safe... do everyone a favor... and think of something else to talk about.  When it comes to a pregnant woman's body, there really is no good way to go about it.  "How is the nursery coming along?"  "Are you excited?"  "Do you have a sitter yet?"  "I bet Ryley is stoked" "Can I give you some money".... put your mind to work, you can think of something.